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hey grace! yep... found the email - twas in my junk mailbox collecting dust (i never look there... -sheepish-) thanks! could you send me a higher resolution version? (if it's not too much trouble)...
and i've been looking at pictures and screen captures of pretty much everything from the third harry potter movie, and i kept thinking, "my god, they've killed lupin." because he looks... er, weird. he's got a good healthy moustache (not... how i'd have imagined lupin. too much fanart i suspect have influenced my mental image of him...) and his hair looks really really dark. like dark reddish brown (again... not.) and i was just wondering how wrong people could get by casting david thewlis until... i saw this picture of him at a website i can't remember:
and he is -so- lupin here. that whole young yet old feeling, the long limbs and slender fingers... (he just screams uke!!! here. heh. but never mind.) i just wished they'd kept this image of him... but... they didn't. he might grow on me though. like -gush- alan rickman. heh. goooooo severus!
watched peter pan with yijun today (yay!) it is a sexually charged movie. not just between wendy and peter, but with hook and wendy (jason isaacs... -sigh-) and erm (dare i venture?) hook and peter. it's all that damn review from 8-days' fault. made me feel like a paedophile for watching the movie and for examining the sexual overtones between the characters. god. aside from the er, overtones, it's a fun whimsical and cheesy movie, and you come out of it wanting to proclaim to the world, "I do believe in fairies! I do! I do!"
whee~!
she took the flowers and left at 3:56 PM
have been fiddling with painter classic these few days... getting the hang of it, slowly. sigh. life's a drag. after the inane-ness of cny, the boredom of everyday life drags me down even more. tuition has become a routine, just as i get used to it, however, i get another new job. which in all honesty isn't that bad, but i feel like a filthy liar sometimes, and i'm really worried i can't produce the required results. sigh. the downside of teaching, apparently.
thank god, however, for jiehan ^__^ lent me books (including a series of unfortunate events, which i wanted to read but was too stingy to actually buy) and neverwhere videos, which will serve as much needed distractions. heh. showed me magic tricks. found out my dad knows how to do the 'is THIS your card' trick too. poor mom was baffled though. still can't figure out the ace trick. (damn.) and bront? sisters are pronounced bron-tee (argharghargh!) but sirius (as in sirius black) is pronounced as see-rius (ha!) well, we learn something new everyday.
and i thought i'd pass this around, for people who don't read raining's blog, it's a nifty harry potter site she found that analyses in detail the significance of the wizard's chess game in philosopher's stone. if it turns out to be accurate, rowling is a bloody genius. ^__^ find it HERE.
hey ling, i have the first half of FY vcd... to episode 30 something, i think. can't remember. can lend you if you want. erm, the first half is actually the less bearable half, heh. after that it gets a lot better, though it is melodramatic (which anime isn't?) -grin- i was a pretty die hard fushigi yuugi fan in secondary school... even have one of the cds by the voice actors from the series. (they sang songs as their characters. it's pretty cheesy, but good clean fun for hard-core fans.) and genbu isn't the dragon... genbu's the thing at the back of genbu kaiden, the turtle mating (yes, mating. -wiggles eyebrows-) with a snake.
she took the flowers and left at 4:00 PM
the thing about chinese new year is that every year i learn (with horrific fascination) more uhm, interesting details about my father's side of the family. they aren't really one of those typical dynastic families you see in hong kong drama serials, in that they don't have some huge luxurious house at mt. sinai or stevens rd or any of those posh places, neither do they own some huge family business, and neither are there numerous wives and mistresses, half brothers and illegitimate children. but, they are a large family, with about seven or eight children all jostling for their bit of the inheritance. there are also stories about one of my aunts having an illegitimate kid and having to give it away after it was born, stories of smuggling contraband (really long time ago) and smuggling children (even longer time ago), stories of a (rumoured) mistress, of brothers and sisters who hate each other, and parents and children who hate each other even more. there's so much fighting and resentment in that family that it would make the perfect hong kong drama or a really thick book that would be ridden with plot cliches (but cliches are cliches because they are true). if anything, my father's side of the family have taught me that, if you want to have a big family, you damn well better be poor because money is EVIL and transforms normally civil relatives into money grabbing er, orcs. (sorry, rewatched fellowship of the ring yesterday)
sigh. the GOOD thing about chinese new year (this years, anyway) is that i made a friend. (no mean feat for a people-phobe.)
and why oh why is fateback putting banners on top of my page? -kicks fateback-
also, i don't know if any of you noticed, but i put links to some webcomics below the blog links... most of em are pretty well-known stuff, like d101 by faith, and slackers and bobbin. but there's a new link there, to a really new comic that's got really good art and a really promising premise. it's called OrientR and y'all should check it out... ^__^
(and finally, to ling: yep. if i can't get a scholarship i'll prob'ly go to nus lit. or ntu mass com.)
she took the flowers and left at 5:49 AM
in a much better mood now, cos wednesday is over and i'm still alright.
current guilty pleasure: the rose, the drama serial on scv channel 49 at 10 every week day night and repeats at 7 on weekends. it's a wonderful adaptation of the manga bara no tame ni, and zheng yuan chang is wonderful as aoi! plus, all the actors (even s.h.e) act better than f4. ehehehehehehehe. ella's surprisingly convincing. now, if she'd only stop crying every episode... and if yuri (bai he) and sumire (jin) end up together i think i'll puke. but for now... go aoi! ~whee!
she took the flowers and left at 3:50 PM
today got off to a crummy start. was mopey and depressed and had a sudden outbreak of Issues... went on the net, but it only made me feel more depressed than ever. thought i might have to go binging again, but i messaged mel a bit, and felt a little better with the human contact... less alone. though our li'l sms exchange wasn't about any of the Issues (well, not directly at least) it made me feel like some dozenredleadsinkersaroundmyneck were lifted. i guess after spending some time with your friends you realise that it's what they think about you that matters, and not the opinions of a nearly total stranger. dawn was a much needed distraction during my lesson with her, and i finally felt balanced when i went home.
(but the sky got dark, and tomorrow is wednesday and i feel like i can't face what's coming tomorrow alone.)
she took the flowers and left at 4:15 PM
went to orientation campfire last night... ran around with councillors dancing and cheering and singing. must say that although the campfire was a bit messy (i had no idea what was going on most of the time), but the individual segments were wonderful. their fireball is truly gorgeous- it was in the shape of a phoenix, and as they lit it, they slowly raised it so it looked like a phoenix rising from the flames... and they put whistling sparklers in the phoenix, so as the phoenix rose the sparklers would fall out and you could hear this whistling that really sounded like a bird. absolutely wonderful.
and it's truly an inspired choice to end the night with singing instead of dancing. the 29th ran up to the 3rd level to sing, and looking down at the huge ryot of people it was... WOW. everyone was linking arms, putting their arms around each other, singing the same song. The Hwa Chong Songs. it's beautiful. and strange-but-truly, the huge mess of poeple formed the shape of the HC logo! it was wonderful.
(and you could really believe what the songs said about love and friendship and all those sentiments that have no place in our world now)
i love hwa chong. and i always will. just stepping into the school makes me tingly. and yet... to what do i owe hwa chong? what did this devotion to hwa chong ever amount to?
nothing(?)
i don't know.
i can't say i've made a lot of lasting friends... maybe no more than those i made in dhs.
and for all those times i loved council and how it changed the way my school life went, there's also those times i hated it and wanted to walk away from it all... it's not really love or stonger-than-steel friendship that was forged with most of them... just a sense of comraderie, an odd fondness you will always have for an old friend you haven't seen for 20 years. the kind you have when you're out in the trenches far away from home and they are all you have to depend on. (some semblence of a shared past that marks us as the same kind of different)
and yet... i still love hwa chong. (and perhaps, i still love council, in the way married couples bicker and fight and hatelove each other) it's that sort of stupid puppy devotion to something that is entirely begot from nothing (and asks nothing in return?) it's an emotion that will eternally be frozen in a sepia toned world where it will always be orientation.
(how can i give it up entirely)
she took the flowers and left at 4:17 AM
heh. to ling: yep. they call kurt a hobbit (though i think hobbits are much cuter...) and he looks much better when the gap in his teeth isn't showing. oh well. and it's strangely ironic for people-phobes to join a club, ne? heh. no one would turn up for any meetings.
and you have to read THIS. it's a slash/shounen ai fanfic, but the slash is very mild and the writing is gorgeous. and, for one of the more convincing harry-draco fics, check THIS one out. it's really good too...
and remember eons ago i did this which harry potter character are you quiz and was gushing about the art of the results plaque? (everyone: NO.) oh well... i found the site! the art's really really pretty... just click around. with clever deduction, you can navigate the site even if you don't read a word of japanese! it's HERE.
anyways. been giving tuition this past 2 weeks, two sessions per kid a week, so four sessions a week. one's a sec 2 girl from katong convent called dawn, who's reaqlly cute and quite hilarious though extremely lazy, and the other's a primary four girl who keeps absolutely quiet unless stating the answers to the questions i set. so i have a monthly income of... $360. but there's still things like ADULT bus fares (DAMN YOU EVIL SBS) and time taken for travelling (i have no direct bus to either of their houses) so i earn, in actuality maybe only $300. it shouldn't be about the money, i know. but i feel like i should be earning more so i stop freeloading off my parents. and i'm not that keen on another job cos that means 6 days of tuition giving a week... but that's the only way i'll earn more money. =( hopefully a job that only needs me once a week and is easily accessible (SO THOSE EVIL BUGGERS AT SBS CAN'T SUCK MY EZ-LINK CARD DRY) comes along. sigh. heard janice gets $400 from just one job. and kelvin gets nearly $600 from just one job though he gives it 5 times a week (but it's primary two only...)
BUGGER MONEY.
(cos we are living in a material world...)
(... and i am a material girl.)
she took the flowers and left at 12:39 PM
-listening to beautiful day- -bounces- go kurt! go kurt! goooooooooooooo kurt!!! -fluffs pom poms-
-5 minutes later as she searches the web for more info on kurt-
-finds fanlisting for him-
oh god! noooooooo, kurt! don't smile!!!!!!! -cringe-
(this probably made no sense to most of you. check out this and all will be clear.)
she took the flowers and left at 4:03 PM
Which Sylvia Plath Poem Am I?
by echoing
oh well. sigh. i say i want to blog more often, and i blog after one week. -mumbles- twit.
went to cosplay and saw a lot of purty costumes, (the standard is getting higher), heh. saw 'pvc aragorn' which wasn't as bad as i'd expected, and strange-but-true-ly, there was this point in time when all the elves (from lotr) left suddenly, and i remarked, "the elves are leaving", only to realise how strange that comment was. wished lin hai was around to come and see it though. : \ saw a lot of purty art being sold on the side though. didn't buy anything cos i'm flat broke, and still owe council ten bucks (damn those money hungry buggers!)
went to council reunion after that... was ok. most of my closer friends weren't there, like sharon and xingyi and shining and lin hai, so was pretty lonely. and i'm senior-phobic too, so i tried to just lie low and not be seen (something however i fail miserably at, perhaps because of the copious amounts of flab i seem to have acquired post a levels) sigh.
i really really hate my people-phobia. i just don't dare to talk to people anymore. even if i've met them before. keep having this niggling feeling they think i'm a complete ditz/klutz/weirdo. and sometimes when i'm nervous my mouth just shoots off and i end up saying really dumb or offensive things, and i acquire this really weird stutter. i just want to dig a hole and crawl in and bury myself and just tell everyone to leavemealonegoawayican'tDEALwithpeople.
argh. sometimes i just can't trust that people are who they really are. even when they say they're ok or look like they're perfectly fine, i want to go up and shake them and just yell tell me what's the bleeding matter you bleeding idiot stop sitting there with your uppity looks and your ridiculous laughter and that look that says we know something you don't.
-incoherent grunt of frustration-
she took the flowers and left at 10:06 AM
dO nOT hUNT tHE bUNNIES
because i bizarrely really liked the picture of rukia that i drew, i made a [depressive] blog layout out of it. go me. and
look-- so many
shades of grey! and the font used on the separator is goodbye cruel world. isn't this just a basketful of sunshine.
depressive header title is the title of the instrumental theme that plays in the episode where rukia
leaves karakura for soul society.
kuchiki rukia is from the manga/anime series Bleach and belongs to Kubo Taito, yo. art belongs to meMeME.
cURRENTLY iNGESTING: Ulysses, James Joyce
sQUARE pEG
ai is a struggling and penniless university student alternating her time between humid ol singapore, and freezing |
sweltering* york, england. she has finally hit the big two-oh, and everyday she weeps and beats her breast, and sighs, and
heaves, and cries herself to sleep for the wild and feckless youth she never had. she now spends her time wondering about
authors and readers and texts, and how they all annihilate each other. she's had a pleasant life, the one we've all had,
filled to the brim with the love of absent things. (she also loves alfian sa'at's poetry, in case you hadn't noticed.) if you
think you can make her toes laugh, or if this blog has been your secret guilty pleasure, do feel free to find her at hotmail or yahoo
(*delete in
accordance to season)
rOUND hOLES
a-squared (group blog)
alanna
alfian sa'at (O_O)
alvin
angie
april
bean
christie and cuifen
count olaf
darth vader (roxors!)
esther
en qi
foxed
grace
history girl
jiamin
jing jing
The One Who Thinks I Hate Her
kelvin
ling
louis
min
natalie
pak
pei lin
pepper
pooh
raining
shaRon
victoria
wee zi
xingyi
eVERYTHING sPARKLY
10k commotion
the adventures of pudding
arcana
average jane
babochka
demonology 101
desert rocks
directions of destiny
golden
i harth darth
lapis aquae
luke chueh
Melody
the new adventures of bobbin
No Rest for the Wicked
OrientR
the perry bible fellowship
the powerpuff girls doujinshi
reman mythology
saturnalia
schism
sea of insanity
sinfest
Soul-d
The Students' Sketchpad
square brain
potter puffs!
zero sleep beauty
zombies calling
big top
zits
heart of the city
tHE gREEN fAIRY
potter puppet pals
online comics directory
j k rowling
lemony snicket
aBSENT pRESENCES
past deeds of unspeakable pain and terror
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